There's no food in the house, so I'm drinking beer.

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I never go outside barefoot. But today was different. Today, Katie was replacing light bulbs! This was too exciting to pass up, so I rushed outside, down the stairs, across the driveway, around the car and sat next to wisteria vines for a front-row seat of the action ( Read more... )

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Katie:  Did you hear about Senator Kennedy? He has a brain tumor. It's really sad.
Me:All of the Kennedys die in strange and unusual ways. Like skiing accidents.
Katie: That was Sonny Bono. You're thinking of an airplane crash.
Me:No, that was a different Kennedy. Anyway, I always assumed it was the CIA trying to finish the job.
Katie: Next it ( Read more... )

I want to create a site that is basically like Hot or Not, but instead of rating people on some abstract numeric scale you'll simply indicate the number of beers it would take.

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MarryYourDaughter.com. Brilliant.

Various recent events have reminded me that, counter to popular belief, I may not be immortal. With that in mind, I'd like to be prepared with an epitath. What would you write on my tombstone? Anonymous comments enabled, of course.

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